And Then There Were Six
Once upon a time, I prayed to know God’s will. (apparently, I haven’t learned the lesson of “be careful what you wish for.” And yet, I really did–and do–always want to know God’s will for me and my family.)
And then He showed us, quite clearly, what He had in mind. Now, just because I know very clearly part of the plan, doesn’t mean I understand the “why”, or the bigger picture. I just know that this was unexpected, a shock, a surprise, and created quite the stir of emotions. In fact, Fence and I are still grappling with emotions on this.
Our little brood is growing again.
And what was once a little brood is now quite large. We outgrew our minivan. Do you know how crazy it feels to outgrow a minivan?
Today was my first appointment. I am 8ish/9ish weeks along. I have been sitting on making this pregnancy public for a month. I quite honestly still feel in denial some days; but I can’t keep that up when I am so tired, always hungry, and starting to outgrow my jeans. Oh, and my kids have noticed my growing belly. The 6th baby bump shows so much sooner!
Now that I have a sweet picture of the squirmy little bebe, I really can’t pretend this isn’t happening, and I feel more comfortable letting all the emotions hang out. (maybe not all of them. Still processing over here. Just know that I find life terribly unfair, and I’m praying daily for all my friends and family who have suffered losses and infertility.)
It was hard. This pregnancy was completely unexpected. To say “unwanted” sounds horrible. Life is so precious. Fence and I have always been open to children…and every time we come together we know the possibility of pregnancy exists, even with stellar practice of Natural Family Planning. So, yes, we were open to new life again, but we were not in the “trying to conceive” or “trying to whatever” camp. It is hard, when we had plans for our current family size, I had goals of running a few 5K races, etc. It is hard when God changes your plans.
It still feels hard, because I know what is coming (I hate labor. Hate. It.). It is hard because I hoped for a chance this year to really tone up my body. It is hard because I didn’t plan this, and wanted my plans.
But. I prayed–we prayed–for God’s will to be done.
Lord, not my will, but Your will be done.
Not only that, I prayed for the grace to know, and the courage to follow, His will. Fence and I…well, we’re praying hard for trust. For deeper faith. For protection over this new life in our family.
NEW LIFE. It’s amazing. SO INCREDIBLY AMAZING that even now, 6 pregnancies in, I am in awe of life. This tiny child has a soul already. God has mapped out his or her life with more love than I can fathom, and trusted us to love and care for this baby. It’s overwhelming. It’s humbling. I’m brought to my knees in prayer, because I literally cannot do this without the grace and love of God backing me up.
And so, now our family grows. We’ll welcome (God-willing, with a safe and healthy pregnancy and birth) our 6th child into our arms sometime in late September. Pray with us?
🙂 You know I’m praying with you through it all! I’m excited to meet Fence #6 and for him/her to play with Monkey.
We never really know what we are in for when we open the door – even the tiniest amount – to God. We never know if He’ll slowly creak open the door or burst through with more love (and different plans) than we had imagined. Some days it is all we can do to be open, but even that openness, no matter how small, is beautiful, loved and treasured by the One who is always waiting to journey with us <3
Thank you, dear friend.
dear Gina, i am pregnant, too with my 3rd child (it’s 23 weeks now) and before my pregnancy i really (finally!) wanted to do some things i always wanted for myself ( finally get in shape and do some things that are only for me) and then God gave us our 3rd child. And i said why now? i wanted things “in control” now.
But every morning on early mass i pray for God’s will and to be happy doing it every day and now He gave me His will and I am happy, very scared, sometimes very emotional in good and bad way but I am happy.
We all are.
So I wanted to tell you that I will be praying for you and your family every day and especially for you and your new gift.
God’s endless love is with you.
Ana (Croatia)
Thank you, Ana, I am praying for you as well!
Congratulations!! I completely understand everything you wrote here as it’s how I felt with this one I’m carrying now (except we can still squeeze in our van!). I have the word “Fiat” in my heart the past few months and it is helping give me peace and even joy that this little one is here. Let’s pray for each other?
Mary, congratulations to you, also. I will pray for you! “Fiat” is a lovely word to keep in mind and heart. ❤
God’s will certainly is a mystery isn’t it? I question and try so hard to understand it constantly (unfortunately in a completely opposite way) but you can be assured that a new life is always perfectly part of His plan and only much goodness, joy and blessing will come from your little one.
Congratulations! 🙂
Melody, I think of you often in my prayers. Thank you for the kind words.
I understand where you are coming from. Last year we were surprised with our 3rd baby but 4th pregnancy. My 3½year old at the time kept asking if there was a baby in my tummy. I said no, and remember telling God ‘Thy will be done’. I was in denial for a couple of months. My youngest daughter and baby boy are 19 months apart. I know our son was blessed in our lives for some perfect reason even if we may not know why. I find myself sometimes still asking why because my youngest two are so close in age and it’s hard but I know I just have to trust God. Congratulations, will be praying for you.
Thanks, Jenna! All of my kids, except for the gap between our 4th and 5th, and now 5th and 6th, were between 19 and 24 months apart. I know the days can be hard, but I really love the spacing. They have grown to be dear friends.
Congratulations, Gina! I’m pregnant with #6 too (due June 1), although this is my 7th pregnancy (one miscarriage). I’ve felt many of the same things you mention in this post. And if you figure out what to do about your vehicle situation, do tell. We’re looking into buying an 8 passenger van but money is not exactly plentiful right now. Something about outgrowing a minivan really does drive home that our family is larger than average. 😉 I’m not sure how I could forget that, but I sure did.
Congrats, and thanks!! We found a GREAT deal on an Expedition. It seats 8, with LOTS of room. If you keep looking the internet, you might find similar good deals. We actually had ours shipped from Carmax in Utah to us here in CO. It’s worth a try! Or Craigslist ads for large vehicles, maybe?
<3 <3 <3 <3 That is all 🙂
<3
Congratulations, Gina! Prayers for you, your family & especially your sweet new blessing.
Thank you, Elise!
Had a long comment written up and the internet ate it! Short version…congratulations! St Gerard pray for you!
Thank you!
Openness to life is hard. There is no other way to cut it. Carrying life, nurturing life is a great gift … and a huge responsibility. May God make your burden light as you carry this new precious life into your family. Praying for you!! <3
Thank you, Laurel!
Aww a new baby! Congrats mama, how exciting and wonderful sending prayers!
Thank you!
Wow Gina I just appreciate your honesty…prayers for a safe, happy, healthy pregnancy! xoxo
I am so happy for you! And I also get every word of what you have said. Every single word. We have 8 children (7 earthly)… and I have not always been at my best when I saw the little plus sign. In fact, I have usually not be at my best at those moments and I am ashamed of that. But God blesses our faithfulness and loves grows. You know that well, obviously. 🙂 God bless you (I know He has!).
I was in your shoes 19 years ago: in shock, denial,angry, major plans had to be undone, overwhelmed. Once he was born, he has (almost) always been a joy for our family. Now he is in college seminary! Go ahead and cry, then trust!
I totally understand where you’re at because I’ve been there. Know you’re a really great mom and I’m inspired by your faith. xx
Congratulations and prayers for you! Beautiful, honest post, thanks for sharing..
Congratulations Gina! With my #5 due in just a few short weeks, many have told me “of course you’ll have more!” Part of me definitely wishes we could be “done”, but like you said, always searching for God’s plan sometimes causes problems with all my control issues;) I’ll be praying for you and hope to see you sometime soon!
Congrats, Gina! And thank you for your honest words. You’ll be in my prayers!
I couldn’t be more thrilled for you and grateful for your honesty. I think I can safely say many of us who conceive easily and carry to term are plagued with an appreciation//anxiety relationship with our fertility. Love and hugs.
It’s official, I just cannot catch up to your beautifully bountiful family! I can absolutely relate to your very mixed emotions, and am praying that the peace of the Lord that surpasses all understanding will comfort you. Outgrowing a minivan is a real accomplishment…one I am also terrified to face in the hopefully not too soon future. You will definitely be in my prayers! Sending you lots of love mama Fence! <3
Congratulations, Gina! You are an amazing mom and this baby is so lucky to have you. We also outgrew our mini-van with the arrival of Charlie, but have just been taking two cars if we are all going. Not ideal but…someday… 🙂
Praying for you!
Dwija, thank you!
Congrats! We have 6 too, & it is crazy, loving, loud, stressful,chaotic, fun, fulfilling… the list goes on and on 🙂 What kind of car are you going to get? We outgrew our minivan & got a suburban. But now my kids are getting biggish & we feel we are out growing the suburban! My husband wants to get a big van. Ugh. I hope he can get it in black. Good luck!
Thank you! We got an Expedition. It’s larger, I think, than a Suburban.
Thank you so much for your honest sharing Gina – surrendering to God’s will sure ain’t always easy! You and your family and your newest little one are in my prayers!
Congratulations! God’s will has a way of knocking us to our knees. I understand how hard it is to accept what we are given sometimes. I appreciate your honesty. I will definitely keep you in my prayers.
Prayers for you! God does work in mysterious ways…and I guess the grass always looks greener and all that. I am on the opposite end, suffering with infertility. I got my body and nest in order for a baby that never comes. But God always knows what is best for each of us and His plans are always greater than what we could imagine, so I pray for understanding all the time. Truly I pray for many blessings for you and your very unexpected little one. Great things must be in store for a baby so special that he/she couldn’t wait to be planned for.
Congratulations, Gina! I so appreciate your honesty. This is a great reminder to me as someone struggling with secondary infertility, that there is another side of the situation, which can also be hard to talk about. I will be praying for you 🙂
“Do you know how crazy it feels to outgrow a minivan?!”
LoL – how awesome. I’m praying for super-excited reactions from EVERYONE for you. Can’t wait to hear all about ’em!
Congratulations! Six! So exciting.
Thank you!