A Tear-Free Start to Homeschooling

I used to feel all the “first day of {home} school” jitters, the excitement to write the first word with a new pencil, the optimistic thrill that my children would delight in their days learning at home, the anxiety and self-doubt that I’d made a terrible choice.

Doing it all wrong

I’d wrangle my unwilling pupils, hoping to avoid more severe threats of turning our read-aloud time into home ec: “you’ll be scrubbing walls and floors if you don’t sit down and stop arguing”. We’d sit down to the dining room table, sticking our elbows and books into sticky spots left from pancakes. Pencil tips broke, and grumbling started. Someone always cried at some point.

I joked with a friend about the first week of homeschooling, “Someone cried today, I guess it’s officially back to school time. Heck, I cried today.” We laughed, shared battle stories of the day, and promised to pray for each other and our families to have better days.

Turns out, I was starting homeschool years entirely wrong for my family. The full-steam ahead approach hurt our relationships and dulled the joy in homeschooling.

Starting Over

All it took was a move across several states and a sandy beach to change our routine. It was a thrill to kick off the year without sitting at the table or opening a textbook. Our no-books first day of school worked!

We packed up towels and sunscreen, wore our swim suits, and spent our first day of the school year at the beach. Splashing in the waves, hunting for shells, exploring a cave at low tide lifted our spirits and created memories we cherish. We stopped at the library on the way home, choosing books to read for fun. Taking the first day for a fun activity has reshaped our school-year starts. Instead of dread, drama, and tears spilled onto math papers, we kick off the new year making memories together.

It’s Tradition Now + an Addition

Since that year, we’ve spent a day on the beach again, laced up our shoes and hiked some local trails, and celebrated with a special dinner on the first day of school. Changing how we spend the first day has become an unofficial, but important, tradition. It’s reshaped how I set the tone for the year, and I’ll never go back to a first day spent with math textbooks and grammar lessons.

It makes perfect sense to me now (as we begin our 10th year homeschooling!). We’re homeschooling to enjoy learning, to provide rich experiences outside the text books and classroom, to offer more for our children than the traditional classroom can offer. Kicking off the year with a day of fun, exploring, and memory-making sets the tone for us.

This year I have just one simple, critical addition to our start: daily Mass. Maybe this seems like an obvious way for Catholic families to begin their school year. Ok, it’s obvious to me, too. Whatever the reason, I never brought us to daily Mass on our first days in past years, I’m making it happen this year. We need Mass more than ever this year, and the 9am daily Mass at our parish will be our kick-off for 2019-2020.

No Books Required

A grace- and memory-filled first day of school is possible. As a homeschooling parent, you have the freedom to leave the books on the shelf for that day! You will not be “behind”. If your school years have started like mine used to–with tears and drama–this may be the year for a “no-books” first day. It’s even do-able for virtual learning families; consider setting aside a school year kick-off day of fun before the computer work begins. If outdoor excursions aren’t high on the fun-meter for your family, choose what does excite your children. Ask God’s blessing on the learning to come, spend a day enjoying your children without assignments, set the tone for joyful growth and learning together.

I’ll be honest, though; even with these truly delightful first days, aggravation still creeps in to my days. One of my children butts heads with me about math. One still cries when perfectionism threatens his confidence. I still lose my patience and complain loudly about lost books and broken pencils. We’re imperfect. Yet I know God calls me again and again to educate my children, and with His grace, it is possible.

2223 Parents have the first responsibility for the education of their children. They bear witness to this responsibility first by creating a home where tenderness, forgiveness, respect, fidelity, and disinterested service are the rule. The home is well suited for education in the virtues. This requires an apprenticeship in self-denial, sound judgment, and self-mastery – the preconditions of all true freedom.

Catechism of the Catholic Church, paragraph 2223

It’s just one day at a time. Also? His grace is sufficient. His mercies are new every morning. (I’m actually pretty certain His mercies are new every few minutes, any time I beg for mercy on those hardest days).

Tell me how you plan to start your year. Let’s cheer each other on! Also let me know how else I can encourage you this year.